Solsticewitch13's BOS: Getting Through to People: How to Get Listening Leverage

Monday, March 14, 2011

Getting Through to People: How to Get Listening Leverage

Posted: 13 Mar 2011 04:48 PM PDT

ONE OF THE most powerful things you can do to increase your ability to persuade is to do genuinely, physically helpful things for the person you want to persuade. To be kind in action — not making a show of it, but just doing it. Nothing says, "I'm on your side," with as much impact as a genuinely kind deed.

Everybody can use some help now and then. Just look for small things. Once you start looking, you'll find lots of opportunities to help.

Not only will this feel good, and not only will it be good for your health (because of the "helper's high" kind acts will give you), but for our purposes here, it also puts the other person in a position of obligation to you. Most people have a natural desire to reciprocate kindness. They will want to discharge their feeling of obligation to you, and you have a great deal of influence over how they discharge it. You can ask them to watch a DVD or read an article or watch an online video, for example. You can say, "I know you don't like this stuff, but just do it for me, okay?" If you have built up a sufficient feeling of obligation toward you, they will do it.

Doing kind, thoughtful things also makes them see you as a kind, thoughtful person, which helps prevent them from thinking of you as a "hater" or a "racist." This will help reduce their resistance to your influence.

Are you having a difficult time getting through to someone? Gain some listening leverage.