from NY to Israel Sultan Reveals
The Stories Behind the News

"The Golden Apple" - A Socialist Fairy Tale

Posted: 05 Aug 2009 06:47 PM PDT

Once upon a time there was a street fair. Then the government
created a Ministry of Street Fairs funded by taxing the produce sold at
the street fair. At first the Ministry brought some some order to the
street fair. But to justify its expansion, the Ministry would periodically
launch new "street fair initiatives" paid for by higher taxes on the
produce. The produce becomes too expensive and people stop shopping at the
street fair.

Naturally the Ministry of Street Fairs launches an "Emergency
Street Fair Stimulus Plan" to promote shopping at the street fair. The
stimulus plan offers people credit for shopping at the street fair.
Unfortunately the credit has to be paid for by doubling the price of all
the produce. That and the welter of new hidden regulations embedded in the
stimulus plan only raises expenses for the sellers, who in turn have to
raise prices. There is a short term burst of shoppers excited by the
credit, which quickly fades away. The credit goes away soon enough, but
the prices stay just as high.

The Ministry of Street Fairs realizes
that people are shopping for their produce at supermarkets instead. It
then demands that supermarkets be also classified as street fairs, and put
under the jurisdiction and tax authority of the Ministry. A Bill is
introduced, "The Supermarkets are now Street Fairs" bill, to put
supermarkets under the Ministry's authority, and tax them at twice the
rate of street fairs. Supporters of the bill denounce the evil
"Supermarket Lobby" for profiteering at the expense of the poor street
fair sellers, who wish the Ministry would just go away, and starving
children who need fresh fruit. The bill passes. The Ministry is
congratulated for its commitment to fighting for the right of everyone to
buy fruit at vastly inflated prices.

Very few people shop for
produce anymore because it has become far too expensive. Falling sales
insure that merchants have to raise their prices even more to compensate
for decreased sales volume. Many supermarkets and sellers go out of
business, creating more unemployment and even fewer people who can afford
fruit. Fruit growers and importers in turn go out of business or turn to
other products. Fresh fruit becomes a luxury that only the very rich can
afford.

The Ministry of Street Fairs responds by creating a "Fruit
Dole" which entitles every child to one apple and pear a week. This dole
comes once again at the expense of the fruit sellers, which raises the
general price of fruit once again. Charismatic young politicians speak out
demanding "Fruit for the People" and denouncing those who prevent the
people from having access to fruit, which turns out to be the fruit
sellers. A radical "Fruit People's Party" is created with a call to equal
fruit for everyone.

The Ministry decides to regulate the price of
fruit, setting an exact price at which fruit may be sold. The taxes on
fruit sellers however remain just as high. Most of the fruit sellers go
out of business. The few who remain in business, sell bad fruit at the
mandated price to the public, while selling good fresh fruit under the
table at much higher prices. Now everyone can afford fruit, but the only
fruit they can buy is rotten and moldy.

Naturally the young
politicians and the "Fruit People's Party" are unsatisfied. They demand to
know why the only fruit available to the people is bad fruit. An
investigation is launched and several of the sellers are arrested for
covertly selling good fruit at much higher prices. The sellers are
sentenced to jail, and a new Fruit Inspection Squad is launched to patrol
the street fair and insure that no one sells fruit at higher prices. The
Fruit Inspection Squad's salary is paid for by higher taxes on the fruit
sellers. This in turn forces the fruit sellers to begin covertly selling
fruit that they would have once considered bad under the table. The
remaining fruit that they sell to the public at the mandated low price is
so rotten that it is completely inedible.

Within a few days, the
Fruit Inspection Squad members have made arrangements with the fruit
sellers to pocket fresh fruit for themselves and their families in
exchange for looking the other way at their covert fruit sales. The same
situation continues. Once again an outcry is launched, and more fruit
sellers are arrested, along with members of the Fruit Inspection Squad.
Lengthy jail sentences are handed out to everyone. A new Fruit Inspection
Squad is appointed, with twice as many members. And additionally, a Fruit
Secret Police is created composed of undercover agents who are tasked with
rooting out corruption among fruit sellers and the Fruit Inspection
Squad.

Of course all this new manpower comes with new taxes on the
fruit sellers. The fruit sellers are no longer able to meet the demands of
the taxes, and the bribes expected by both the Fruit Inspection Squad and
the Fruit Secret Police to allow them to stay in business. Instead they go
over their heads and suborn a few key members of the Ministry of Street
Fairs with fresh fruit. The fruit sold at the street fair and in the
supermarkets is now more rotten than ever and draws flies from miles
around.

Politicians rise to denounce corruption in the Ministry of
Street Fairs, and its Fruit Inspection Squad and Secret Fruit Police. A
third round of investigations results in the imprisonment of members of
the Ministry. New Ministry members promise their absolute devotion to the
highest standards of ethics. Instead they promptly collude with members of
the Secret Fruit Police to create a secret fruit cartel which sells fresh
fruit to the very rich at high prices. The Fruit Cartel extends its way up
into the highest reaches of the government.

The fruit at the street
fair grows more rotten than ever. But the Fruit Dole is double to two
apples and two pears a week. Of course the pears and apples are bad, as
employees at the Ministry resell the fruit intended for the fruit dole.
The cartel creates a thriving underground fruit market. Young boys
throughout the city earn a few coins by whispering to passerby, "Hey
Mister, would you like to buy some fruit."

The fruit cartel quickly transforms into organized
crime. Rival fruit sellers engage in knife fights. A number of children
are killed selling fruit. The public demands that the government do
something. The government increases jail terms for illegal fruit sales and
doubles the size of the Ministry's budget by doubling taxes on the fruit
sellers. The fruit quality sold at the fair grows worse. No one shops
there at all anymore. The fruit trade has moved into the back
alleys.

The Ministry nationalizes the remaining fruit sellers and
supermarkets, promising absolute control over all fruit sales. The
government encourages people to grow fruit in their own backyards and
cellars, for their own use-- which can be sold only after an expensive
licensing and approvals process. This only increases the illegal fruit
market, as many citizens begin growing fruit and reselling it on the black
fruit market. The Fruit Cartel, enforced by the Secret Fruit Police
attempts, to control this market. Daily radio broadcasts denounce "Fruit
Hoarders" and declare a "War on Backyard Fruit." Home fruit growing is
banned, but nevertheless thrives.

The public outrage against crime,
the high prices of illegal fruit and the low quality of legal fruit,
combined with the Ministry's blatant corruption, motivate the people to
support the Fruit People's Party's revolution. The entire government is
shot. The Ministry of Street Fairs becomes the People's Ministry of Street
Fairs, and promises an end to all corruption and "Fruit for
Everyone".

As its first act, the People's Ministry turns to the
fruit growers and importers and demand that they provide "Fruit for
Everyone." The few fruit growers and importers who had not gone out of
business, have gotten used to selling their fruit illegally. Naturally
they do not comply. The People's Ministry has them tried and executed.
Their orchards and businesses are nationalized "In the Name of the
People." The government sends out of work people who know nothing about
growing fruit to work the orchards. A new "Golden Age of Fruit for
Everyone" is declared.

The fruit orchards go mostly untended. The
new workers know nothing about growing fruit. Their salaries are minimal.
Their motivation is entirely absent. At the beginning of each growing
season, the "People's Ministry of Street Fairs" proclaims a target number
for the crop that they expect them to grow. The workers naturally fail to
meet that quota. The People's Secret Fruit Police accuse them of economic
sabotage and have them executed. A new collection of workers takes their
place.

After a few seasons of this, there are still no fruit. In
fact there is less fruit than there ever was. The People's Ministry
compensates for this by importing fruit from abroad which it distributes
through the "Fruit Dole". What fresh fruit is grown, goes to the Ministry
and the members of the Fruit People's Party, as well as the numerous
members of the Fruit Inspection Bureaucracy that evaluates and weighs the
produce at every turn.

At the end of every harvest, the People's
Fruit Propaganda corps declares that under the wise leadership of the
Fruit People's Party, with the insightful guidance of the members of the
People's Ministry of Street Fairs, with the tireless efforts of the Fruit
Inspection Bureaucracy, and through the hard dedicated labor of the Fruit
Growers (those who hadn't been shot yet), the target for the fruit harvest
has been both met and exceeded. Posters, television broadcasts and the
radio constantly talk about the great number of ripe shining fruit that
has been grown. Children are interviewed about how pleased they are to be
living in the greatest country in the world where fruit is available to
everyone on the Fruit Dole, whether or not they can pay for
it.

Meanwhile the street fairs are neglected and the only fruit
there will kill you as soon as you take a bite of it. The only reason
anyone goes to them is because they are a good place to make a connection
with illegal fruit sellers, who resell fruit stolen by members of the
Fruit Inspection Bureaucracy. At private parties, the members of the
People's Ministry and the People's Party dine lavishly on pears and
apples, and decadently spoon handfuls of grapes into their mouth... little
aware that in the outside world any working family could afford what has
become a delicacy in the People's Republic of Fruitania.

As
families go out for a night at the movies, the only film playing is the
impassioned epic FRUIT HARVESTERS OF THE NORTHERN SLOPES, which depict the
struggle of brave fruit growers who battle the elements and greedy corrupt
Fruit Gangsters. It took 2 years to film, and it is the first new movie to
be released in six months. And the people are happy to have it. They don't
remember that before the Ministry of Film-making was formed, several
movies used to be released each week.

After the Newsreels which
show the brave People's Army preparing to invade local fruit producing
nations, whose "fruit hoarding aggression" threatens them, and members of
the Fruit Inspection Squad rounding up seedy looking Fruit Gangsters,
usually belonging to a minority ethnic group-- the main feature
begins.

Even as the film tells the story of Peter, the brave fruit
grower, who romances the beautiful daughter of Lovak, the fruit hoarder,
who insists on growing and selling his own fruit, rather than working for
the benefit of the people-- the audience pays little attention, focusing
mainly on the shot after shot of gorgeous fruit orchards, their mouths
salivating furiously at the sight.

At the end of movie, an official
from the People's Fruit Party rises to proclaim that this year's fruit
harvest has been the biggest and most tremendous harvest ever.
Unfortunately, he says, the first priority of the People's Fruit Party
must be to provide fruit to the starving children who go without fruit all
the time. Which is why 90 percent of the harvest will go to a special
Children's Fruit Dole, to be distributed to starving children, somewhere
else. Somewhere they've never heard of.

The remaining fruit must be
sold to the filthy Fruit Hoarders abroad in order to buy the weapons with
which to equip the Fruit People's Army to protect the fruit orchards of
Fruitania from those who seek to steal their fruit. He congratulates them
for their dedication to the principles of Fruitism, and promises that with
their continued hard work and effort, a day will come when in the nation
and around the world will have as much fruit as they want, when the World
Fruitian Revolution comes.

The audience joins him in signing the
revolutionary hymn, "Fruit of My Homeland", their voices rising with
impassioned fervor on the verse, "The fruit of my homeland is the sweetest
fruit of all. I will die for your orchards and perish for your pears. The
fruit of my homeland is dearest to me." This is followed by a chorus of
"Soldiers of Fruitania", "Workers of the Fruit Orchards" and "Death to the
Fruit Hoarders".

They go home. The People's Party member to what he
considers a lavish repast of a fresh pear. If he moves up in the party,
one day if he moves up in the party he can expect to dine on many pieces
of fruit a day. A few lucky audience members return to suppers of moldy
fruit baked into pies that are mostly crust. Others have rice clumped into
the shapes of pears, apples and grapes, covered in food coloring and
glazed with sugar-- as a delicacy that they claim is almost as good as the
real thing. Not that any of them have ever tasted a piece of fresh fruit
in their lives. And never expect to.

The radio comes on
automatically with a stirring broadcast from the Chairman of the People's
Fruit Party who announces that the world revolution is now closer than
ever. "The decadent Fruit Hoarders abroad are part of a decaying social
and economic system that cannot last much longer. Their fruit hoarding has
made them weak," he declares, "and ripe for takeover. They cannot conceive
of sacrificing their fruits for others as we can. All they care about is
their own personal profit. Soon their fruit orchards will be ours. And
soon they too will live just like we do."

The broadcast heard by
millions of people who have never tasted a fresh piece of fruit closes
with the revolutionary anthem, "Fruit for Everyone".

(Fortunately this is only a fairy tale that
could never ever happen in real life. Still it might be worth pondering
the notion that "Fruit for Everyone" usually means "Fruit for No
One")